Sunday, November 1, 2009

Make me feel good when I hurt so bad.


Sunday, November 1, 2009
Dear diary,

This coming week is opening week for father knows best. I'm so happy to have a good role w/ lines and all but it's made me realize acting for me will probably never be more than a hobby. I'm just not phenomonal. Meh. So anyway Friday was the concert night. I went w/ jostyn luke josh francis Laura and sydney. Everone was really chill and I hung out a bunch w/ laura which was great cause we are so close. The pic is actually her when she was my age.So yeah it was chill and we ate wendys, and she is a horrible driver and almost hit a whole row of mailboxes but it was very fun. The concert was very crazy. For bands played but Hyland and Love out loud were the only epic ones. There was lots of sweating and moshing and crowd surfing and candy, the way concerts should be. Then saturday morning I got up early to go volunteer for an how at the local old folks home. molly picked me and francis up and me and molly talked about how she got high with walker and joe hennen and Tobyramaswamy. pretty trippy. Kinda wish I had been with her especially since joe is my favorite. Oh well. The volunteering was boring and I mostly just danced around to this rap I was singing... anyways then I went home veged out for a little while, showered (finally at the concert the hot lead singer sprayed us with water/spit. funny but gross) andbut on jeans and a thermal to go get high and go trick or treating. Teddi was freaking out and making a big deal about being really secretive and alex was being a bitcha nd pretending like she had a phd in baking a bowl even though I know for a fact shes smoked a total of four times and didn't even really get it right till this time. She just thinks shes cool because she slut-ed her way into smoking with 3 stoner juniors at our school. Not even hot ones. Anyways I'm a little bitter and from now on I'M keeping our glass bowl with me. So anyways we gathered (me josh francis kari teddi Alex hall and jostyn)and went to trick or treat a few house before crawling into this little pine tree room that is the bowm to smoke in. We smoked like 20 bucks worth of pretty good shit and as everone started to leave me and josh stayed back to finish the bowl. he was being weird all night, sticking by my side, then flirting with kari, then flirting with me, then calling me his ex girlfriends name so... I have no idea whats going on with him and me. He keeps saying shit like we should chill sometime and "your the only girl I have ever told secrets too" but he's such a dick. I just wish we could be friends. who knows. So anyways we were throughly baked and then we trick or treated and laughed and I freaked out josh and fell down a muddy hill and died. It was awesome. We hung out at teddis a little while then and josh and francis played for me on their guitars. After they split and alex fream showed up the five us girls had girl talk, than smoked a few bowls. It was freams first time high and was trippy shit.I couldn't tell if she was faking it or not though. We watched Alice and wonderaland and freaked the fuck out then passed out in a pile.It was the best. My hair is in horrible nots though. then today i went shopping again to prepare for the play. i'm excited but nervous too a little atleast. Dress rehersal tomorrow I'll talk to you again when I get a minute!
Love Landis 8:01pm

Wednesday, April 29, 2009

Oh happy happy day!

i'm in love blogosphere! Also show week this week! GAHAH I'm so happy right now. I'll right something sensical later.

Saturday, February 21, 2009

Surrealism

I recently had a bit of a life changing experience and it really rattled me. Really. It's one of those things that even thinking about makes my eyebrows scrunch and makes me bite my lip. It so confounding. Sorry but I don't really feel comfortable enough to say anything more on here.

TREACHERY:

1. It's been almost a week. I'll never think of you the same way again. And I'll never understand Monday the 16th of February 2009. Maybe someday i'll be okay with that, maybe that's whats supposed to happen, the natural course of the universe.

2.I think I understand you now. More than anyone else ever has or will. And that simple fact frightens me.

3. Thanks for the effort. I'm just wondering how long it'll last.

Thats all. And now for two small rants that have been rattling around in my skull.

YOU NEED TO FUCKING GROW UP. Everyone. Seriously. I used to be afraid of growing up, mostly I thought it would take away my individuality. But being an adult has nothing to do with that. Being adult doesn't mean getting a job and getting serious and losing your dreams. Growing up means being mature and able to handle the world without going crazy, or pushing it off on other people. It means being atleast trying to be kind to everyone, even on your bad days. And honestly when I think about it neither of my parents are "grown up" nor my brother or any of my friends. And honestly, not to be conceited, but i'm probably farther down the path than any of them. Which makes me proud and isolated. Ironic that when you better yourself, you hurt your well-being. I am finally begining to understand why most of the human race chose to stay mindless sheep all through life. At least they have company.

I wonder sometimes if the stars fell one by one from the sky, if the sun exploded and the rivers foamed and if everything were made of precious jewels, if flowers grew on every flat surface and the world constantly smelled slightly of cookies. What then? Would everyone be as happy as I am that I still have life and would everyone out there experience as much beauty as I see when I open my eyes each morning? Would humanity thrive finally free from the bonds of darkness and depression or would we simply crumble under the weight of such magnifisance?

and finally my friend tasia said something very cool to me last friday to paraphrase:

Human existance is the existance of a bee. We work away quietly each in our little cells commanded by a power who just works in their own roomier cell. But if we try, really try, to break out and free ourselves, we can. And when we push and shove until finally the walls of our little prison crash and crumble around us the dust clears and we find we have accomplished nothing other than pissing of the bees in the surrounding living spaces and ruining our own home.

It doesn't mean i'm going to stop trying though.

Thursday, February 5, 2009

I'm just a poor boy nobody loves me! HE'S JUST A POOR BOY FROM A POOR FAMILY


listening to Boheniam Rhapsody. GALILEO! GALILEO! i was rockin out to tenacious d today. Awesome. Me and my bro had a strange sort of heart to heart the other day. i have a fucked up family. Sigh. I AM GOING TO WEAR MY NEW VINTAGE SWEATER TOMORROW! GAHHH!!!!1! I love it so much. Gotta go to bed. I hope you all dont become slaves to society. tootles!

Wednesday, February 4, 2009

"Its pronounced ERBS." Well the british pronounce it HERBS and everyone knows they are more evolved."

I said this in line at subway today. I'm a strange one. I'm posting here cause I have no good pictures today. I probably wont for the rest of the week. Sigh. And I feel like I'm to busy to write these days. "And so the simple pleasures of summer are swept away with the autumn breeze..." I'm just so busy these days. I really love the Wombats and thier song "Party in the Forest". i'm listening to it now as I attempt to get a start on my project on the Nez-Perce due tomorrow. Sigh. I also forgot my math at school. Sigh. Sarah would kill me :) I THOUGHT RAVES LIKE THESE DIED IN THE 90'S! Did you know that cannabis (a drug similar in effect to marajuana and smoked in a bong) (oh and also the drug M. Phelps uses) is actually less addictive than Caffine? not to mention alcohol and Cigs. So think about that next time you sit down for your morning cup of joe. You could be getting high. :)

Tuesday, February 3, 2009

Feeling strange.

Watched Benny and Joon today. Proceeded to make toast with the iron. I burned myself but it was all good fun. I also went to the dentist today. They told me I have to get my wisdom teeth removed ASAP. And I'm only 14. I see that as a sign. Also working on my mathematical theorum for the decceleration of human existance. Very interesting. Unlike my homework. Sigh. haven't done any yet. Oh well. I'll do it later :) I believe I have finally convinced my mother to let me ride my bike without a helmet. I'm so excited. You know what she said her condiio was?? "only if we can buy you a new bike." My parents are so backwards sometimes. Not saying I'm comlaining, just thought is should be mentioned. It's dress like a kid day tomorrow at school. I cant think of anything to wear. I'll think of something though. I'm sure :) My first EBAY purchase is on it's way in the mail. I am very happy about this. I'll upload pics to Charm from the home country when I get it. I have to go attempt my homework now, the mission will most likely be futile. But just as well.

Listening too: I'm gonna be (500 miles) by the Proclaimers

Saturday, January 24, 2009

Lists

Currently Obseesed with/like:

Young Love by the Mystery Jets
Art Blogs
Let's Get out of this Country by Camera Obscura
Facebook
Mintmall
Lookbook
Lists
Feathers
Plotting
How perfectly everything always works out if you will it so
People who like me for who I am
all my little friendlits
happiness
Flatland
Music
Boys
the movie Into the Wild

Thinks I dislike/am annoyed with:
Fox News
Boys
My parents
Sadness
My brother
PEOPLE THINKING I WANT TO BE LIKE MY BROTHER
Sno daze pressures
couples
oppression
not being free
how fast I'm blowing my money
being bored

And there you have it