Surrealism

I recently had a bit of a life changing experience and it really rattled me. Really. It's one of those things that even thinking about makes my eyebrows scrunch and makes me bite my lip. It so confounding. Sorry but I don't really feel comfortable enough to say anything more on here.

TREACHERY:

1. It's been almost a week. I'll never think of you the same way again. And I'll never understand Monday the 16th of February 2009. Maybe someday i'll be okay with that, maybe that's whats supposed to happen, the natural course of the universe.

2.I think I understand you now. More than anyone else ever has or will. And that simple fact frightens me.

3. Thanks for the effort. I'm just wondering how long it'll last.

Thats all. And now for two small rants that have been rattling around in my skull.

YOU NEED TO FUCKING GROW UP. Everyone. Seriously. I used to be afraid of growing up, mostly I thought it would take away my individuality. But being an adult has nothing to do with that. Being adult doesn't mean getting a job and getting serious and losing your dreams. Growing up means being mature and able to handle the world without going crazy, or pushing it off on other people. It means being atleast trying to be kind to everyone, even on your bad days. And honestly when I think about it neither of my parents are "grown up" nor my brother or any of my friends. And honestly, not to be conceited, but i'm probably farther down the path than any of them. Which makes me proud and isolated. Ironic that when you better yourself, you hurt your well-being. I am finally begining to understand why most of the human race chose to stay mindless sheep all through life. At least they have company.

I wonder sometimes if the stars fell one by one from the sky, if the sun exploded and the rivers foamed and if everything were made of precious jewels, if flowers grew on every flat surface and the world constantly smelled slightly of cookies. What then? Would everyone be as happy as I am that I still have life and would everyone out there experience as much beauty as I see when I open my eyes each morning? Would humanity thrive finally free from the bonds of darkness and depression or would we simply crumble under the weight of such magnifisance?

and finally my friend tasia said something very cool to me last friday to paraphrase:

Human existance is the existance of a bee. We work away quietly each in our little cells commanded by a power who just works in their own roomier cell. But if we try, really try, to break out and free ourselves, we can. And when we push and shove until finally the walls of our little prison crash and crumble around us the dust clears and we find we have accomplished nothing other than pissing of the bees in the surrounding living spaces and ruining our own home.

It doesn't mean i'm going to stop trying though.

I'm just a poor boy nobody loves me! HE'S JUST A POOR BOY FROM A POOR FAMILY

listening to Boheniam Rhapsody. GALILEO! GALILEO! i was rockin out to tenacious d today. Awesome. Me and my bro had a strange sort of heart to heart the other day. i have a fucked up family. Sigh. I AM GOING TO WEAR MY NEW VINTAGE SWEATER TOMORROW! GAHHH!!!!1! I love it so much. Gotta go to bed. I hope you all dont become slaves to society. tootles!

"Its pronounced ERBS." Well the british pronounce it HERBS and everyone knows they are more evolved."

I said this in line at subway today. I'm a strange one. I'm posting here cause I have no good pictures today. I probably wont for the rest of the week. Sigh. And I feel like I'm to busy to write these days. "And so the simple pleasures of summer are swept away with the autumn breeze..." I'm just so busy these days. I really love the Wombats and thier song "Party in the Forest". i'm listening to it now as I attempt to get a start on my project on the Nez-Perce due tomorrow. Sigh. I also forgot my math at school. Sigh. Sarah would kill me :) I THOUGHT RAVES LIKE THESE DIED IN THE 90'S! Did you know that cannabis (a drug similar in effect to marajuana and smoked in a bong) (oh and also the drug M. Phelps uses) is actually less addictive than Caffine? not to mention alcohol and Cigs. So think about that next time you sit down for your morning cup of joe. You could be getting high. :)

Feeling strange.

Watched Benny and Joon today. Proceeded to make toast with the iron. I burned myself but it was all good fun. I also went to the dentist today. They told me I have to get my wisdom teeth removed ASAP. And I'm only 14. I see that as a sign. Also working on my mathematical theorum for the decceleration of human existance. Very interesting. Unlike my homework. Sigh. haven't done any yet. Oh well. I'll do it later :) I believe I have finally convinced my mother to let me ride my bike without a helmet. I'm so excited. You know what she said her condiio was?? "only if we can buy you a new bike." My parents are so backwards sometimes. Not saying I'm comlaining, just thought is should be mentioned. It's dress like a kid day tomorrow at school. I cant think of anything to wear. I'll think of something though. I'm sure :) My first EBAY purchase is on it's way in the mail. I am very happy about this. I'll upload pics to Charm from the home country when I get it. I have to go attempt my homework now, the mission will most likely be futile. But just as well.

Listening too: I'm gonna be (500 miles) by the Proclaimers