Secret

I have an impulse, and those I usually follow. I want to tell you something. It's a secret that only a few of my closest friends know. Why oh Why would I be posting this on the web? Because A) this blog makes me feel uncharecteristicaly open with my life and B) Probably no one reads this and cares:). So here goes. My mom is insane. Not in the way that most mom's are insane but in the real padded room straight jacket crazy way. She has some mental illness that makes her extremely controling and anxious and sometimes violent. I usually don't tell people this because they laugh and think I am just bitching about my mom like any other random teenager. I'm not. My mom doesn't like when my brother and I go to school. She get's frightened when we cross the rood and some times she srubs the same dishes over and over again until her hands bleed. She has hit both my brother and I before. It gets very hard to live with. Sometimes almost unberable. she begs us to stop leaving the house and must control every accpect of our lifes. About a year ago my brother stopped talking. We're (meaning my father and I) not really sure why, but we are certain he hates his life, and probably us. My dad is the only one who keeps me going. He tells me she loves me, and I believe him. Sometimes I wish she'd love me a little less. It's hard to love her. She has mental breakdowns whenever I go to parties or sleepovers. My brother is leaving for college after next year and my dad thinks she might try to kill herself. It makes me so scared. Whoooo! I feel much better now that that is off my chest