I have something I need to say...

Right now the list of people that really care about me is pitifully short. And yeah its made me relapse into my depression. Nothing like the holidays to kill your spirits. I just have so much shit going on with my family right now, and it's left me really stressed out and I'm sorry if I've been mean or rude to anyone but I just can't take all this anymore. I try my fucking best and all i ever do is fail. It's just like everthing I do lets someone down and everything I say pisses someone off. And I just wish everyone could know how much I try, how eveything I do is premeditated to try and please people. And how crushed I am that it never works. I know that sometimes I'm a little to... direct with my opinions but that is WHO I AM. Please stop persecuting me for it. I just... dont' know what to say. I never claimed to be perfect. I am FULLY AWARE than I am a horrible person and DO NOT need the daily reminder from everyone. I know i can be: Hypocritical, a lier, a manipulator, an ass, a preacher, stubborn, mean, racist, stupid, presuptious, imposing, and all in all a HORRIBLE PERSON. please stop telling me about it! Last time I checked I was trying to be civil! I tried not to call names or get angry and what did it get me? A bunch of pissed of teenage girls and an ass full of insults. I am a buddhist, and peace, understanding, empathy, and karma are all very important concepts to me. Please don't question that maddie it really really hurts my feelings. I am ALWAYS trying for those things. Do I fuck up sometimes? Yeah I have basically fucked up EVERYTHING in my life, and quite a few other peoples apparrently. WHY CAN'T EVERYONE JUST BE NICE, TO EVERYONE?!?!?!?!?! All I ask for is a little kindness. I never knew it was such a bother.